The book and its author
If the only thing we can be sure of in this life is death, why do most of us avoid the subject like the plague?
Deep down we know that we should ‘get our affairs in order’ but we convince ourselves that there’s plenty of time, that it’s safe to shelve these often difficult and challenging questions until later.
In this book, Marjie Sutton tackles these questions head on, revealing that there’s far more to think about than simply making a will, plus surprising benefits for the here and now.
What’s the book about?
Covering both practical/legal necessities and our behaviour/culture, the book will help you:
- Understand the reality of the process of dying and what needs to be put in place so that you have the say on how your estate (money, property, possessions ...) is distributed and so that your executors have as easy a task as possible.
- Discover that it’s not just about death, but about living well - freely, lightly - uncluttered by all those things, tasks, issues that lurk somewhere in our conscience.
- Take action now, instead of leaving it until it’s too late.
- Examine what’s really important, the legacy you’d like to leave beyond material possessions.
- Identify lifestyle changes you may need to make to ensure this happens.
How will it help me?
- By highlighting common misconceptions and excuses and clarifying the facts
- Help you review all aspects of your life and work out what you really need to do
What does it practically offer me?
- Questions that will help you make an in-depth examination of your life
- Practical suggestions of where to start, who can you trust to help you get it right
- Resources that can help you begin
Who are you and why did you write the book?
I was born in London, UK where I still live. I’m a down-to-earth, practical woman who enjoys bringing order into chaos, both personal and corporate. My work has taken me all over the world, but always back to my roots in south east London, and my beloved, pretty large, extended family.
Unexpected deaths in my own family woke me up to the reality that many of my relatives had not yet made wills or put in place safeguards for their children, so I set out to put some notes together to encourage and help them. However, as I wrote, I realised it wasn’t simply about having everything in order for when we die, but ensuring that we’re in good shape now. I saw the amazing potential of living in a way that enriches our lives (and the lives of those we love) here and now and also avoids the spiral of regret that all too often kicks in – what we should/could have done, things we wish we had or hadn’t done.
What legacy/message do you want to leave?
Being intentional about the reality of life ending and preparing for it on all fronts – physically, economically, relationally, spiritually – doesn’t only mean that when you leave the planet it’s all straightforward for those who have to handle things for you. It also means you live in a way that really recognises and celebrates what you have, building into your life habits and behaviour that can bring huge blessing to all those around you; not harbouring negative thoughts and emotions but living in freedom and joy.
Book Recommendations
Death is never an easy thing to talk about. But it is an inevitable part of life. Pretending or hoping it will miss us out somehow, can leave all kinds of problems for those left behind. Sometimes it comes to us young and too quickly, or when we are ripe in age. It can be unexpectedly sudden and cruel, gentle and silent in the night, or can even feel unnecessarily prolonged.
For those of us who are left, not only is there the heartache and grief of having to learn to keep on living without the person who has gone, but often there are lots of practical things to sort out, which we were unprepared for. This book gets to the real nub of these issues. Pragmatic, yet compassionate, straight-talking yet kind, Marjie Sutton invites you to live well in the present, so you can know, whenever your death occurs, everything is prepared and you, yourself are ready.
All of this is undergirded by Marjie’s own faith in a God who loves us. You may not agree with her, but whatever you think about this and ‘life after death’, it’s an important thing to consider, as you more realistically accept and embrace your own mortality. So, whether you need help in sorting out your finances, understanding the legal aspects, having tough conversations with your loved ones or facing life’s big questions – this little book contains pearls of wisdom you would do well to treasure.
Dr Andy Knox
Associate Medical Director for Lancashire and South Cumbria
Marjie Sutton, with her characteristically direct and uncompromising style, throws down the challenge to us all. Clearly drawing deeply on her own experiences at the same time as providing a wealth of practical advice, she pulls us all up short.
The book is thought provoking, causing us to reflect not only on our own mortality but the needs of those that will be left behind when we die. It conveys a very positive message. Rather than feeling helpless there are simple (although not easy) steps that can be taken to face up to the taboos and difficult questions which we would rather leave to one side, but enable steps to be taken towards the healing of broken relationships.
As one starts to turn the pages it becomes very clear that the book is actually about living, not dying. It conveys a very powerful message about the way that life should be lived in the here and now.
When someone dies, family, friends, business partners and acquaintances not only face their own moment of mortality but in my experience, it is all too often the moment when relationships which have been built, sometimes over a lifetime, either rise to the challenge and become even stronger when a loved one dies, or due to poor preparation or a lack of understanding, the overwhelming emotions can just get too much alongside the need for sensitivity when people are at their most vulnerable. It can make or break a relationship in a way that no other major life event can.
Unresolved conflicts within families (and outside) can and do carry on for generations and Marjie takes us through the means that we have to help resolve those conflicts whilst we are still alive, rather than leaving them as part of our legacy to be perpetuated for the next generation and beyond.
As Senior Partner of a Law Firm for a few decades now, I have first-hand experience of this in action. I recall a Will reading I undertook at the Executor’s request immediately after the funeral (rarely a good idea!) Within a few minutes half of the family had become extremely agitated, were clearly upset and walked out of the room. As far as I am aware, there has been no further communication between the two sides of the family (apart from through Lawyers) since that day. If the deceased had read Marjie’s book the outcome may have been different. One can only hope so.
On the whole people do great things with their lives, create amazing relationships with family, friends and colleagues and do their best to look after loved ones and the community and environment in which they live.
We owe it to those that we love to let them leave behind the legacy great people deserve – Marjie’s book can only add to the chances of that becoming a reality.
Tony Summers
Senior Partner, Wellers Law Group
I have had the privilege of knowing Marjie Sutton in a professional capacity for five years.
In that time, I have been impressed by the clarity and accuracy of insight Marjie brings to matters we need to address but don’t want to confront, in a very helpful way. Her book Living to Finish Well is no exception, to the extent that many people will find Marjie’s masterpiece both template and practical ‘to do’ list in one!
There is a well-known saying “we all reap what we sow”. In Living to Finish Well, Marjie pulls back the curtain on the concept of cause and effect to help us understand the practical consequences of our actions or inaction in managing our financial and property affairs, as well as family relationships. Marjie gets these challenging beasts on the table for us to carve up at our leisure. And carve them up we better had! For if we don’t, by default we will have placed others in the driving seat.
I therefore have no hesitation in recommending Living to Finish Well. In fact, Marjie’s book complements my firm’s services so well we will provide it to both new and existing clients, as the opportunity presents.
Take it. Read it. Read it again. Make notes. Take the medicine. You will feel better.
John Morris DipFA MLIBF
Managing Director
The Harvest Partnership Ltd
Amazon Reviews for Living to Finish Well
*****