Living to Finish Well Preview – Chapter One

1. CARPE DIEM

Seize the day

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” —Mark Twain

The journey of this book began after the unexpected loss, within a handful of weeks, of two dear family members. I realised, with some concern, that a number (most?!) of the next generation of my family had not yet got around to sorting out matters such as making a will, let alone getting to grips with thorny questions, such as who would care for their minor children if something happened to them. With that realisation, I decided that, perhaps, it would be good to pull together some thoughts and information to help them, and many like them, take action.

What started as a focus on ‘getting your affairs in order’ quickly developed to addressing the journey of life towards its inevitable end. I recognised how bad many of us are at this. I thought I was going to write about finishing well, but before getting very far I realised that it’s all about living well, which doesn’t just mean being successful and having fun. I also saw that, far from just being a helpful handbook for the elderly or those who know their days are numbered, it’s crucial for adults of all ages. So, whether you’re a 20-something, or in your 90s, this is important stuff!

There’s something about the idea of ‘putting things in order’ that creates resistance in some of us. We don’t like to be told what to do, to feel that we’re being controlled or regimented! However, bringing order into something actually results in peace. Where there was chaos, there’s now peace because, whether we want to admit it or not, guilty feelings about things not yet done always lurk somewhere – however deeply buried – in our consciousness.

Hopefully, this book will provoke you to think about things differently, challenge attitudes and start a process that will help you to find peace. A process that will free you to be an amazing blessing to others, both those you love and even those you haven’t given thought to in a long time. While trying to cover all aspects of having a life in order, it’s not going to be a step-by-step handbook of what to do and how to do it, although it will include information and suggest some resources to point you in the right direction. My hope is that it will simply help you to focus on some of those things we all avoid, inspire you to seize the day, get everything in order and to, perhaps, begin living to a different rhythm.

We’ll look at:

• Essential conversations and preparations; the things we leave undone to our potential peril
• Helpful preparations; putting things in good order so that executors have as easy a task as possible
• Thoughts and tips to ease the way for those responsible for dealing with someone else’s affairs
• And finally, a section to challenge our thoughts and beliefs about ‘what comes next’.

How to read the book

There will be an overlap between some of the chapters, where something touched on may have been covered in more detail in another chapter. With this in mind, you may find it helpful to use the journal pages to quickly note down the things that particularly speak to you as you read; issues that ring a bell and which you know need your deeper attention. To help with this process, each chapter concludes with questions and/or suggestions to get you thinking and help you work out your own plan of action.

There may be parts you can skip straight over – for example, if you can tick all the boxes outlined in chapters four to six. While they may be, to some, the most difficult and challenging, they’re probably the most straightforward in real terms! Some themes covered may highlight key issues that need to be addressed that will take time, grace and courage, whereas others are simply talking about very straightforward and practical matters. I encourage you to read every chapter, even those where you feel you’ve got it all sussed; you might find there are still things to think about, or changes you need to make.

I suggest, too, that you read the whole book through, making notes as you go of the things that jump out at you. When you’ve finished it, review your notes, work out priorities and then go back to the beginning and work through it again methodically. You could well find, to your surprise, that you can actually multi-task, as some suggested actions are easily done in the course of everyday life, alongside those that may need some dedicated time and attention.

Disclaimer

Please note – any information in the book about legal matters, etc. relates specifically to the UK, so if you live elsewhere you will need to do your own investigation about what the law requires in your country. That applies also to the UK, as rules sometimes differ in each nation, particularly around wills, LPAs (Lasting Power of Attorney), etc. However, the subjects covered are important for everyone, wherever you live.

While I have taken every effort to check the validity of the facts about processes, these must be checked by you, the reader as, while they were correct at the time of writing, legislation changes and I can take no responsibility for their continuing validity.